Haute Proportion: 2012

30.12.12

New Years Devolutions

The title is the affectionate name I've affixed to the tradition of new year's resolutions. A wonderful time of year in which we lie to ourselves and everyone around us about how we plan to bring ourselves up to the basic requirements of humanity so that we can be injected into social situations without people fleeing in despair.

Last year I made the resolution to buy Vogue every month, in the hope I would become a better fashion journalist whilst simultaneously sizing up the competition. I did succeed in my resolution, but I also started buying and smoking Vogue menthols around September to deal with the mind numbing boredom of having to read stupid Vogue all the stupid time. Yay, rich white people did something I saw on tumblr six months ago. No one cares... Frankly it's put me off resolutions altogether, even ones that initially seem appealing. I've decided to break down the most common resolutions for the rest of you, so you don't make the same mistake.

Here are the top ten new years resolutions according to the first website that came up on google that had 'statistics' vaguely in the description. Therefore, science.

The Twelve Gifts of Christmas

Here's my belated Christmas wish list. I know it's very late and far too close to Christmas to order things online but if you truly love me you will find a way to have all twelve here by the 25th. I've been told I become quite unreasonable around the holidays which might have something to do with Tesco selling Terry's Chocolate Orange's for under €2. When you finish your 14th in a row you can be involuntarily committed.

Anyway I managed not to go too stud mental in my gift list, but frankly if I had my way this post would just be eleven pictures of metal studs and a final picture of me hot gluing studs to my face. I've spent quite a substantial amount of money on ebay buying sacks the addictive, pointy, treasures and when they arrive I plan to turn myself and every garment I own into some kind of fashion porcupine.

Instead of studs, I tried to select each item from a different plus size shop or designer to give a more varied list.

OneOneThree

I just saw this on Pocket Rocket (which is a super cute fatshion blog if you haven't seen it already).
A gorgeous new plus size clothes company called One One Three, and after seeing the photos I'm positively giddy...

The Ever Expanding Universe

Remember that post I did about how nebula print is finally available in plus size?

Well here's one more, this time from Nakimuli as part of their ever expanding plus size range.

You can buy this for me here, and actually while you're there you should really peruse the rest of their plus size stuff. It's very very good...

Things I NEED

Buy me this immediately if not sooner.

Don't be crap, it's on sale and everything. You can buy it for me here x

EDIT:
So I was so struck by the top's utter beauty (and the post Christmas shopping dregs left in my paypal account) that I simply had to buy it. I have absolutely nothing to wear it with, but I don't care, I'm just going to nail it to my wall and weep at it's glory.

Queer Thing Presents...

A photo guide to Queering Dublin, one sexy night at a time...

Why Fashion is so Great

A short video on why fashion copyright law makes fashion such a creative industry.

29.11.12

Astralnauts and Other Nebulas

Domino Dollhouse's long awaited new 'Astralnauts' range has finally arrived and can go flying straight from their shop into your body. In the words of glorious fatshion queen, Tiffany of Fat Shopaholic 'Finally, galaxy shit in size fat'.

Shaping up

Apple

'Busty'

Hour Glass

Pear

Plus Size Shop List

Buy me this

Moleskine have launched a new limited 'Audio Cassette' edition notebook.
There's even a video so I can crave it in motion.

You can buy it for me here

Also, I will need this bag to carry my new and possibly heavy notebook.

Brought to us by 'Hungry Zipper'. Tumblr yet again leads me to all things good.
They don't do plus size though (boo)
You can buy the bag for me here and tell them to start making plus size goodies while you're at it.

6.11.12

Fashionably Late...

There are various pitiful excuses with which to explain my absence. Let's just say I was doing lots of important things like attending rallies and so on.

Here's a flattering doodle of myself protesting things.

No, really I was busy protesting. See:

Actual picture of me at a real live protest

Shit, I forgot to draw my sunglasses.
Now how will people know I'm cool?

Basically, I'm back and hopefully things won't get so mental again that I completely forget what the internet is, let alone remember that I have a blog.

16.6.12

A Confederacy of Dunces...

After a particularly crap week I had a meeting with the super hip art collective that let me pretend to hang out with them. Not all of us were there, but there was enough of us to ensure we didn't get anything done.

Check out how great we are here.

Rachel, Coffee, Lizzie, Me, Paddy

Things became hilarious within minutes.

Beautiful Osaro was also there for ornamental reasons.
You may check out her ridiculously successful tumblr here

So we did some Hard posing.

Lizzie is a furry.

She hung yo her sad bovine head and decided to leave fighting crime for another day.

Jeffrey Campbell shoes.

Lizzie and I in our day to day crime fighting gear.

All our shoes had a party.

Lizzie is insanely talented and amongst other things has her own clothing line
Here's Osaro modelling some beautiful things..
Check out Supercreep here

13.6.12

Buy me this immediately...

Typical. I lose my job and Asos Curve comes out with this.

As if that wasn't tempting enough, they also have it in gold. GOLD DAMMIT!

Buy it for me here.

Full Figured Fashion Week

I hate only finding out about these things via Evans facebook update. Because following shops on facebook always makes me feel really cool...

But Full Figured Fashion Week is happening. Of course plus sized bodies can't be represented in a normal fashion week. Who knows what would happen? We might eat a Louis Vuitton dress, or crush a model we've mistaken for a giant chicken wing. In any case, it's a matter of safety that we are not allowed on the premises.

So Gwen DeVoe and Sonsi (sponsers of Full Figured Fashion Week) have taken it upon themselves to create an event for plus size women and through all my grumbling, I thank them for it. As I say, if regular fashion week doesn't want my money, I'm more than happy to give it to those who do.

9.6.12

And then, in bloated desperation...

I took some pictures of me in an outfit I love, poncing around in front of my bookcase.

If you're ever feeling crap, I would highly recommend posing about the place until your Mum takes pictures of you so you'll stop.

Dress: Asos Curve
Shoes: New Look Wide Fit
Stockings: Evans
Earrings: Asos
Necklace: Lazy Oaf

29.5.12

My Excuses are Weak at Best...

But the reason I haven't been posting is because I was sick and, if I'm honest... it's sunny...

That second one might sound like a lame excuse (trust me the sick part was no joke, double ear infection and sinus infection. I just lay in my bed wailing and vaguely gesturing at my head for a week) but I swear, sun in Ireland is not something that is shrugged off. Irish weather is generally a sort of bland, drizzly, mush, making any outdoor activity feel labored and unnecessary. I had personally forgotten that the sky was capable of being blue and not just an endless sheet of white cloud. The weather up until now had been so despicably unremarkable, that whilst waiting in a chemist recently the shop assistant in a moment of desperation weighed out the phrase,
'The weather's been very... changeable, today'.

I could actually feel the colour drain out of my face as I stared bleakly back. She may as well have just looked me in the eye and shouted 'WEATHER. THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT'. It certainly would have given me more options in how I could respond. I just silently took my prescription and staggered out into the light drizzle.
But then, miracle upon miracles, SUN. There it was. In the sky. As if it just hung out there every day. As if it was no big deal at all.

And every single person in Ireland absolutely lost their shit.

We became a collective stampede, running out into parks and fields and beaches, ripping off our clothes and screaming a collective war cry of delight. Slathering ourselves in sunblock to protect our blotchy pale Irish skin, we celebrated like people escaping from some underground cave after a decade in hellish captivity. Now when I venture out, I'm surrounded by raw red Irish skin, clothed in appalling unseasonal confused clothes. The clothes of people caught out in some freak mid November heat wave, and not the reasoned clothing of those expecting a Summer at all. Because why would we expect a Summer? Why would we set ourselves up for failure and actually be so stupid as to BUY Summer clothes when there is nothing but the eternal fog of Irish climate hell?

It is only with expectations so damn low, that people (including myself) could get so damn excited over sunlight. So, here are some celebratory pictures I took of Eavan, my boyfriend Dave, Osaro. And me a bit too.

Drinking sneaky daytime mojitos. It ended in much crying and puking. We have no self control.

And here I am. In all my glory...

And in my glorious Gisela Ramirez 'F*UCK FLATTERING' Tshirt as well.

My lovely boyfriend Dave.

And the delicious Osaro.
Check out her epic blog here

What a babe.

Same outfit, different day.

15.5.12

Pastels?

I'm at a loss as to how to make pastels sound interesting. So I'm not even going to try. Frankly the only reason I was converted was due to a slow and steady onslaught of images on tumblr that eventually made me feel like I was trapped in a merengue.

Save me.

Picture source here

And so instead of actually doing any pesky writing, I have raided my tumblr in order to inflict a similar sensory experience on you. I'm hoping it will shift the view of pastels from a painfully boring representation of all that is passive and dainty to all that is instant youthful nostalgia. Like instagram for cakes.
So vast is my collection of pastel pictures, I was able to categorize them.

Starting with balloons...